Please join us in welcoming new Stitch blogger Valerie Marsh! We’ve very excited to have her persective on “all things Stitch” and we know you’re going to love her style!
Sigh. I have a wedding to go to, so off I go to the mall to find a dress. Now begins the dreaded search, not for the perfect dress, but one that will fit and look half-way decent. I find my way to a store that looks promising and load my arms with 8 different dresses in an assortment of styles and sizes. I quickly categorize them. One pile of sizes I hope will fit, (hey a girl can hope, right!) because they’re really cute – and the other pile of sizes, I know will fit. Like a “safety college” the second pile contains the larger, less cute clothes.
Stuffed into the dressing room I reach for one dress and then another and another, and, horror of horrors, NONE of them fit! I think to myself I must have gained again. Staring at myself in the mirror I could tell that even Spanx was not going to be able to come to the rescue.
I walked away feeling defeated and wanting some ice cream to ease the pain. I just wished my problem areas could disappear so that all could be well with my world. As I sat in my car criticizing myself, feeling hopeless and frustrated, I wondered what this was all about. I mean how many times have I found myself in this position? (Trust me, more times than I would like to admit.)
So I asked myself why I so desperately want to be thinner! After racking my brain atlas, the aha moment came! It’s because if I were thin then I would finally be acceptable to society… and therefore loved. I would no longer have to walk around in shame. Then I would be able to live fully and not have others see me as unattractive.
As painful as consciously realizing that the standard for what is acceptable to society clearly is not my shape; what’s even more painful is that I had internalized the lie. The lie that I am not good enough until…I lose the weight. For others it maybe – until I can get my acne to go away, until I get the house, the promotion, the degree or even the guy/girl of my dreams.
I saw that this lie gives our power away. It allows others to determine what who is acceptable and therefore, who is lovable.
Determined to take my power back I decided to do an experiment, a personal love revolution of sorts, by rebelling against the lie. I started a daily practice of saying and feeling the following affirmation: “I am loved, I am acceptable and I am worthy just as I am.”
Over time, as this truth sunk in, I realized that: 1) my shape does not define how I can feel about myself and 2) that beauty is a feeling. Now I say, “Since beauty is a feeling, this has got me feeling pretty darn beautiful!”
Whenever I start to feel uneasy, I remind myself to turn within. “Within” is where truth, freedom and acceptance live. And as I embrace my own beauty I find acceptance and I am loved by me. Viva la revolution!